


Those Kind of Smiles

by Libraryof_Alexandria



Category: Good Omens
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Love Confession, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libraryof_Alexandria/pseuds/Libraryof_Alexandria
Summary: “You always smile like you are about to cry” -Aziraphale and Crowley visit the burnt bookshop one last time but only one thing matters to Az.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands - Relationship
Kudos: 47





	Those Kind of Smiles

“You always smile like you are about to cry,” aziraphale told him.

Crowley looked up at aziraphale for an instant and then back down at his hands. They were old, they’d touched the finest silks of Egypt and held creatures that had gone extinct so long ago he could barely remember. He’d always wondered how Aziraphales hand would feel against them. 

“Surely not always Angel,” he drawled lazily. His thoughts got to him fairly often. Not as often when Az was around. He needed to keep him around. 

Aziraphale hesitated. The only time he seemed to hesitate was around Crowley. 

“Oh, I suppose not always my dear,” he looked out the window. The bus made the stars ripple by like angels flying, “only when you’re not sure of what’s going to happen next.”

They had just stopped the armageddon that wasn’t; postpone Gabriels great plan. Aziraphale got his sword back and looked just as beautiful as the day he gave it away. 

“We’ll figure something out you’ll see.” Aziraphale told him and patted Crowley's leg lightly before returning his hands back to tightly gripping one another. “We always do,” he muttered more to himself. 

Crowley wasn’t so sure, the wraths of both heaven and hell had never just been upon them at the same time and they couldn’t just go on like this forever. Their entire existence was about ensuring that divine punishment or forgiveness was received and since they rejected that role they were sure to receive the backend of their old jobs. 

Aziraphale wanted to see the bookshop. “Somethings you can’t believe until you see for yourself huh Angel.” He hushed at Aziraphales’ sad grimace. 

“Yes, I suppose not.” 

The ground was still warm. “Jame’s eliot, Agatha Christie, Jane austen….” Aziraphale was digging through the ashes. 

“What are you doing?” Crowley asked gently, kneeling in the ash behind him. “I can dig if you like, don’t hurt your hands,” Crowley didn’t want to hold his hands like this. He wanted to hold them on their walks in the park or on top of the table at the Ritz. 

“The books were the one thing I got to keep,” he looked up at Crowley but he knew that he wasn’t actually being seen. “I know I’m not supposed to get attached,” 

He breathed in and out slowly. Crowley nudged one hand free but tightly grasped the other. Aziraphale began to pull out his other hand but Crowly gripped it as tight as he dared. “Go on.” He gently ran a few fingers through his white fluffy hair, the ash from his hands blending into it. 

“But I’ve lived so long and it is just so lonely Crowley. I’m sure you’ve felt similarly but the other Angels, Crowley! They despise me. They only know humans to be dirty and sinful, and since I’m here they just associate me with them.” 

Crowley nodded not taking offense to what that meant they thought of him. Only what Az felt and thought mattered to him, no one else's thoughts could ever touch him except maybe his own. 

“I wouldn’t be bothered so much if the humans lived longer. Do you know how many acquaintances that I would know for years but after a while they would question why I never aged or strange things that would happen around me and I would have to erase myself from their memories. One day I had to stop because it just hurt to look at them and know that they couldn’t see me. And then….And then..I ran into you again.” Aziraphale seemed to see him now. 

“We bumped into each other at that one restaurant, I treated you to oysters, do you remember? Aziraphale asked and pulled his head against Crowley's shoulder. A light rain started and the city seemed to quiet as though she was holding her breath.

Crowley laughed and he was sure his smile looked more sad than ever. “How could I ever forget the oysters Aziraphale.”

“Anyways, then I realized something.” He pulled back. Not too far, just enough to see the demons face and take off the silly glasses. 

“Did you realize that I am way cooler than any angel.” Crowley asked jokingly. He didn't know how to handle a conversation this sensitive and intimate. 6000 years and it was his first. 

“Something like that.” Aziraphale kissed his cheek and Crowley's eyes widened, every nerve in his body urged him to put the glasses back on but he was frozen.

Aziraphale continued, “I realized that you weren’t ever really here to cause trouble. She wouldn’t let that happen if she didn’t have an important reason to. So I thought about it for thousands of years. Why a being so smart, thoughtful, and even kind in his own right would fall and be sent up here to be with me. I won’t lie, it was a couple thousand years before I could dwell on it longer than ten minutes but somewhere along the way I figured it out and it was even more terrifying than not knowing.” Aziraphale eyes water and he was starting to choke on his own words.

“Knew what angel.” He didn’t need to breathe, if he needed to he would be dead.  
“That the only reason two beings could be placed in such a big world and constantly intertwine is that they were meant to be together.”

“Together how.” Crowley more so mouthed the words than said them. 

“Well, in whatever way we want really. I just know that I love you and that I can never stop loving you but that’s what really scares me.” One tear and then another. He wasn’t sure who’s face it was from.

“I would never leave you angel. I promise” 

Aziraphale was angry in his response. Not at him. Never at him. “But what if they take you! Death can’t but the almighty or hell or whoever bloody else and I would be left with nothing to console me!” Crowley held him tighter. 

“You would be gone forever and a book could never replace you, a million books. I would just kill all the stupid plants and I just want to discorporate thinking about it. So I rejected you. A million times over. I didn’t want them to take you away because I could never live without you!”

Aziraphale was shaking and Crowley's throat burned. He didn’t know he could burn from the inside out. 

“And now they are going to take you away and I’ll have nothing left. I don’t even want anything to replace you. I just want you forever.”

Crowley kissed him then. It may have been hours it may have been minutes but he wished it had been centuries. Longer. 

“I’ve loved you since the moment we met Aziraphale and now that I have you I promise no one can ever take me away.” 

He’d found the answer. Aziraphales hands felt like a supernova in his palms but mostly they felt soft and warm and like they belonged together.  
.


End file.
